Alternate universe, alternate reality, watching ones-self, the morbid fascination with your own pain. Fear of loss, fear of change, autoerotic voyeurism.
This piece grew out of “Screen Tests” which explored so many personalities based on the false supposition of auditioning for a cowboy movie. The producer of Pi and Maria Full of Grace approached me and wanted to “actually make it”. I learned in this process that I wasn't equipped, in this moment, to write a full feature script, this not being my strength or training, and not being prepared for it. What I came up with was a notebook full of little vignettes and this is the one that got made. We shot on film, had an actual crew (as small as it was), and the editor did a beautiful job of taking too little footage and telling the story anyway. It was an amazing experience.
For reasons too mundane to get into, all the contracts never got signed, we never agreed upon a strategy for showing this (gallery? film festivals?), and a lot of things in my life were changing, so it has never been shown publicly. I still love it.